TheChauffeur.com reporter, Andy Dubberley shares his extensive experience of working with celebrity clients and highlights what you could encounter if you find yourself with these challenging customers.
According to the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of ‘celebrity’ is ‘the state of being well known’. For anyone who has experienced working for these unique characters, (how diplomatic was that), a truer definition might be ‘a person who demands the unobtainable, insists on the impossible and communicates the non-sensical’!
Celebrities are of course a varied bunch… some are great to work for, some are okay in small doses and some treat you in such a way that you end up running for the hills whilst questioning your self respect. Then in addition to the ‘names’, you have their entourage to deal with-that select group of egos, self important hangers-on and wannabe friends who, more often than not, are way more problematic than the celeb themselves. Everyone wants a slice of the action in this strange, farcical and false world that seems to be a magnet for some of the most unbalanced individuals you’ll ever have the misfortune to come across. Apart from that, it can be a pretty good gig!
Don’t be under any illusions of grandeur if you get involved in the celeb world, the days of big budgets in the music, TV and movie industries have long gone and you’ll face an uphill struggle to command even sensible rates for some work. This largely depends on who you’re being employed by. If you’re working directly for a ‘higher-end’ celeb, (music industry icon, Hollywood A-lister, etc), then we’re talking sensible money in the same way it would be in the executive world, because they’re at the top of their game and what they want, they get. These names make up a small and select group of media and entertainment royalty but it still doesn’t mean you’ll get what you want money-wise all of the time.
‘Minor’ celeb’s don’t get a chauffeur service of any decent quality, their status doesn’t allow it and neither does the budget. Most of the major record labels, TV channels, film and production companies use minicab firms for their day to day stuff because they don’t have the funds to pay what professional chauffeurs demand, particularly waiting time. Joe Public’s perception of all celeb’s being ferried around in big shiny chauffeur cars just isn’t the reality, many well known personalities are very much at the mercy of the ‘black Galaxy brigade’.
So, if you do end up working for a major personality, what can you expect?
For a start, it depends on what type of person they are and how they deal with fame. I’ve generally found those who have been playing the celebrity game for a long time are much easier to deal with because they’re already very used to the trappings of such a lifestyle, they’ve got nothing to prove and they don’t want to be in the public eye unless the need arises. The public often complains when a celebrity is courting the limelight one minute and moaning about press intrusion the next but for many, being famous is a job and their life is simply split into public and private in the same way that we’re either working or off duty.
When the need arises, (and as their professional situation requires), publicity is absolutely everything, the circus well and truly comes to town and this is probably the toughest time to be their chauffeur. No longer are you dealing with just another client-this is when many other individuals appear on the scene-PR gurus, tour managers, record or film company executives and an assistant for every day of the week… every last one of them cock sure that they know what’s best for your client and most giving you a different set of orders when they don’t actually know their own arse from their elbow.
This scenario is significantly easier to deal with if you’ve been working for the client for a long time and know what makes them tick because you can then simply ignore all of the outside influences and do what is best for, and appreciated by the person you’re driving. This newly acquired group of hangers-on aren’t there when you’re pushing a trolley round M&S with the celeb, or driving them to numerous private engagements during their ‘personal time’. Personally, I find it satisfying to smile inwardly, nod in the right places and carry on doing what I do best… being a professional chauffeur for someone who trusts me implicitly and who knows I do the job.
It’s also worth mentioning something else at this point-something many people don’t appreciate and never stop to consider. It is not uncommon for a celebrity’s personality and behaviour, even towards you as their chauffeur, to change quite dramatically when they need to go into ‘work mode’ or before entering the public or media spotlight. Many celebrities get extremely nervous and stressed before a performance or personal appearance and with the added hassles of having several new faces forced upon them, things can get very tense and those closest to them will bear the brunt on occasions.
This is very much part and parcel of the job so get used to it. Something you will experience continually on the celebrity circuit are the egos of individuals surrounding ‘the names’ and that includes other drivers. I’ve come across numerous drivers and tour managers who consider themselves bodyguards, even though they have no formal training or credentials and if you’re a driver/CPO who’s there to deal with the principal’s safety as well, things can get a little fraught at times. Many who are employed in the entertainment world think that working ‘in the biz’ gives them carte blanch to be rude, arrogant, and to consider themselves something a bit special so it’s quite satisfying to simply be pleasant and approachable, especially when it comes to fans.
Dealing with other ‘professionals’ in the entertainment industry is also a struggle much of the time, even when it comes to simple admin. Out there in the real world, executive PA’s are incredibly on the ball and you normally get all the information you require first time. It doesn’t quite work like that in celebrity wonderland and it can be absolutely infuriating. It takes them ten emails to communicate everything that could have been covered in one and some assistants are seemingly only capable of answering one question at a time! It’s almost uncool to be professional and vagueness is always the order of the day. On many occasions I’ve asked questions which are important to me and the response has been ‘don’t worry, you won’t need to know that’, at which point I’ve assured them that I do need to know so find me the answer because despite how everyone else works, I do the job properly.
My biggest piece of advice would be to do all the legwork yourself and don’t rely on secondhand information from anyone about anything. Liaise with venue management and security direct and do recce’s at every opportunity, because being prepared will save your backside when everyone else suddenly gets a bad case of slopey shoulder syndrome should any element of the organisation go wrong.
Given that anything to do with the word ‘celebrity’ means unpredictability, last minute changes and chaotic organisation, it’s vital that you price jobs to cover any eventuality. Just like Middle Eastern clients, celeb’s change their flights at the eleventh hour, itineraries go out of the window and additional hours you didn’t expect crop up all too frequently. Many event organisers want a breakdown of your costs upfront for budget planning and if your boss starts changing their arrangements last minute, you could end up battling with the paymasters after the job or seriously out of pocket. Charities, event organisers, TV, film and record companies will all push you on price because they’ve got serious budgetary constraints. The status of the celeb you work for will nearly always dictate the outcome with regards to pricing-only a few ‘A listers’ will be able to insist on their own chauffeur being used without the organisers putting up a fight and if that’s the case, you can command proper money. In other circumstances you may well get politely told that your services aren’t required for a particular event and the organisers will supply either a ‘lower end’ car company or a VIP fleet supplied by one of the major manufacturers.
As with any client, the longer you work with a celebrity, the better you get to know them and the more they will come to rely on you. In the bonkers world they frequent, they want stability and normality, something that includes having people around them they can trust and feel entirely comfortable with. When it gets to that stage with a major personality and despite the points I’ve made, the job can be varied, interesting and rewarding, but getting to that point can sometimes be a very rocky road. Rock & Roll!
Andy Dubberley
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